Nigel Owens believes the sport of rugby upholds a value that is disappearing in society – respect – and shared his gratitude to the game for helping him to truly find himself.
Appearing on The Tommy Tiernan Show on RTÉ One, referee Owens opened up on how he had to confront his own personal demons.
He has previously spoken of his battle with depression and struggle to come to terms with his homosexuality, and said last night that even the pressure of officiating the 2015 Rugby World Cup final was nothing compared to that journey.
“I told myself ‘I need to grow up here, I need to accept who I am’, and that’s the moment my life was saved really,” Owens said.
“Refereeing the World Cup final between New Zealand and Australia, with millions and millions of people watching back home, every single one watching the replays in slow motion to see if you get the decision right.
“The pressure of knowing that if you get something wrong it could end up with a team becoming world champions when your mistake prevented the other team that should have won it…
“That’s massive pressure, but that pressure that day, that challenge that day in that World Cup final, was nothing compared to the challenge of accepting who I was and becoming who I was.
“There was a huge amount of suffering. The suffering went on for a few years after, though not to that extent, because there was nobody ‘out’ in the macho of rugby.
“I had to live a lie for the next few years. The wonderful sport of rugby union, the Welsh Rugby Union and World Rugby and everybody involved in the sport, has allowed me to be who I am.”
Owens is one of the most respected and like sporting referees on the planet. While he detects a general decline of “respect” in society, his own sport provides comfort and encouragement.
“It doesn’t matter who you are. It doesn’t matter what country you come form, what the colour of your skin is, your sexual orientation or your religious beliefs.
“None of those should matter one bit. All that should matter is that if you are a decent human being that you are treated the same – and I emphasise the same.
“No better and no worse, just the same as everybody else, not only in sport but in society and everyday life. There’s one thing that I think today’s society lacks and that is respect.
“Rugby upholds the tradition of respect, in my humble opinion, better than any other sport in the world. Rugby has allowed me to be who I am today. If it hadn’t – and my family and friends, the community I’m very fortunate to live within that’s all allowed me to be who I am – I wouldn’t be here now.”
