HOW TO CONTROL NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

by editor March 23, 2018

written by editor March 23, 2018

Identify your negative thoughts. Some might immediately spring to mind, but if you have trouble pinpointing them, consider journaling. Write down a sentence or two describing the negative thoughts whenever you have them. ^[1]
- Look for thoughts that make you feel sad or discouraged, such as: blaming or shaming yourself for things that are not your fault, interpreting simple mistakes as indicative of personal failings, or imagining small problems are bigger than they are (“making a mountain out of a molehill”).
Stop the negative thought immediately. Once you’ve identified your negative thought, counteract it by saying something positive to yourself. For example, instead of saying, “I’m having a really bad morning,” try saying something like, “This morning is rough, but my day will get better.” Keep your mind on the positive. ^[2]
- If you’re struggling with this, keep this one trick in mind: never say something to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone else.^[3] Remind yourself to stay positive and it may just become a habit.
Pay attention to your vocabulary. Do you find yourself frequently using absolute terms? For example, “I’ll never be able to do this,” or “I always mess this up.” Absolute terms are often exaggerated and leave no room for explanation or understanding.^[4]
- Your vocabulary includes what you speak out loud to others, as well as how you talk to yourself, whether verbally or mentally.
Remove overly negative words from your vocabulary. Extreme terms like “terrible” and “disaster” shouldn’t apply to minor annoyances and inconveniences. Toning down your language can help you put negative experiences into a healthier perspective. Replace these words with encouraging thoughts or praise.^[5]
- When you do catch yourself using one of those words, immediately replace it in your thoughts with a less extreme term. “Terrible” can become “unfortunate” or “not as good as I had hoped.” “Disaster” can become “inconvenience” or “challenge.”
Turn the bad into good. Few situations are totally good or totally bad. Finding the good in an upsetting situation helps bad experiences seem less stark. If you find yourself starting to think a negative thought, immediately stop and consider a positive aspect.^[6]
- For example: Imagine your computer stopped working, forcing you to replace an internal component. While inconvenient, the experience also gave you the opportunity to learn a new skill or reaffirm an existing skill.